SMBS.

"If you think about it… the best way to store food, is to eAT IT."

Sun, 26 May 2013 01:09:32 -0400

“If you think about it… the best way to store food, is to eAT IT.”

- tired, hungry enni

Me: I need new material. Say something funny.

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 16:17:58 -0500

Me: I need new material. Say something funny.
Enni: I'm sorry.

"You are the reason why I love you."

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 15:01:18 -0500

“You are the reason why I love you.”

- Enni

"mocking tone Contact the admin for technical support. demon yell I AM THE ADMIN GOD DAMNIT!"

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 02:42:29 -0400

““*mocking tone* Contact the admin for technical support. *demon yell* I AM THE ADMIN GOD DAMNIT!””

- Enni, and his constantly blue-screen-of-death-ing computer.

"It feels like I’m a brain in a jar. With speakers."

Wed, 19 Sep 2012 15:00:09 -0400

“It feels like I’m a brain in a jar. With speakers.”

- En— okay wait, what? Enni, now you’re just getting ridiculous.

"Help! Help! My arm’s fallen and it can’t get up!"

Tue, 18 Sep 2012 14:56:20 -0400

“Help! Help! My arm’s fallen and it can’t get up!”

- Too tired to move

"Why can’t I move my arms? Or legs? Or use my face? It’s like all my energy went down to..."

Mon, 17 Sep 2012 14:59:31 -0400

“Why can’t I move my arms? Or legs? Or use my face? It’s like all my energy went down to zerooooo——…*gurgling noises*”

- “Tired” Enni

Enni: What's that rap?

Sun, 16 Sep 2012 14:57:42 -0400

Enni: What's that rap?
Me: Babe, I don't know what it is.
Enni: I feel sad. Pay attention to me! I feel like a used rag that's been washed one too many times.
Me: I'm sorry babe, but I don't know what you're talking about.
Enni: I wanna listen to that rap. What's all this typing? Pay attention to me!

"Make like a tree and fuck off."

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 14:58:24 -0400

““Make like a tree and fuck off.””

- Enni

Enni: I'd tare this thing to shreds, but I'm really tired.

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 14:49:41 -0400

Enni: I'd tare this thing to shreds, but I'm really tired.
Enni: teare?
Enni: tear
Enni: tere
Enni: tare
Enni: fuck.
Me: tear.
Enni: a tear?
Me: yes.
Enni: like, a tear going down her face?
Me: they're the same spelling.
Enni: WHAT
Me: yes, dear.
Me: like read and read.
Enni: WHAT
Me: 'reed' and 'red'
Enni: OMFG
Enni: THIS IS ABSURD
Me: tare I believe is also a word.
Enni: HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE
Enni: THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

Me: Do you remember what it is?

Wed, 08 Aug 2012 19:06:00 -0400

Me: Do you remember what it is?
Enni: Psssh.
Who do you think I am?
Mr. Elephant or some shit?

"Ah yes. Nothing calms the chaotic soul quite like Royksopp."

Fri, 03 Aug 2012 17:42:22 -0400

““Ah yes. Nothing calms the chaotic soul quite like Royksopp.””

- Enni

Enni: Sometimes I can feel my brain.

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 14:55:54 -0400

Enni: Sometimes I can feel my brain.
Me: What?
Enni: What?
Me: ...Wait, did you just say 'sometimes I can feel my brain?'
Enni: What? Why would I have said that?

"…"

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 00:07:52 -0400

“…”

- He’s been playing DayZ since Arma II went on sale.

"Searched for meaning, found Kalinda instead."

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 02:21:51 -0400

“Searched for meaning, found Kalinda instead.”

- “Loopy” Enni

Enni: It hit me... like a truck.

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 14:59:24 -0400

Enni: It hit me... like a truck.
Me: Oh dear.
Enni: In a good way.

"I’m experiencing technical difficulties. Just… stare at the cat for a while."

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 15:02:06 -0400

“I’m experiencing technical difficulties. Just… stare at the cat for a while.”

- Enni, during a skype call.

He then proceeded to place a stuffed cat in front of the screen while he figured out what was going on.

Fancy Puns

Tue, 03 Jul 2012 14:54:36 -0400

Enni: *looks at me* Ooo, fancy.
Me: What?
Enni: You. You look fancy.
Me: I'm not fancy.
Enni: Well, I fancy you.

"Cosmic Amnesia… Quantum deja vu, if you like."

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 14:56:43 -0400

““Cosmic Amnesia… Quantum deja vu, if you like.””

- Enni

"Your perfection lies in your imperfection. If you were perfect, you wouldn’t be perfect. Do..."

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 14:55:52 -0400

““Your perfection lies in your imperfection. If you were perfect, you wouldn’t be perfect. Do you understand the paradox of humanity that lies within you?””

- “Drunk” Enni